Statements That Make Theatre Kids Cringe

Written by Alex Cumming

September 1, 2016

1. “Theatre, theater. Same thing.”

No. Not the same thing. The class I take is “Theatre.” Theater is the building.

2. “I have to stay at school until six. UGH MY LIFE.

I’ve gone entire school days without seeing the sun once.

3. “Theatre doesn’t require any physical labor.”

Have you run the full length of an entire auditorium while changing into a suit?

4. “Why don’t you just get a side job?”

Get real. My life is school, sleep, or rehearsal.

5. “Why do you only wear black?”

Because black works in every theatre situation: it’s a technician’s uniform and an actor’s best friend. #slimming

6. “You have extra food. Can I have some?”

No, this is for dinner tonight…during my five-minute break from a four-hour rehearsal.

7. “Is that makeup residue from yesterday?”

Yes. When your face is painted on a nightly basis, some gets left behind.

8. “Can we listen to something other than show tunes?”

My car, my rules, my music.

9. “Don’t you have friends outside of theatre?”

What is this “outside of theatre” you speak of?

10. SCENE PARTNER: “Hey, you should try –“

Please stop.

11. “Don’t you have any other hobbies?”

Theatre is my passion, my love, and my family. It’s what I’m devoted to and where I know I belong. So…nope!

Alex Cumming is a senior in high school along with being a local stand up comedian and improviser.
Thumbnail image from Saturday Night Live. Copyright © NBC Universal 2009.