9 Monologues from People Who Have a Bone to Pick
Written by Leryn Turlington
October 11, 2016
Need a monologue from a character who refuses to back down from what they really want from somebody else? Below are some monologues from our collection that feature men and women who have a bone to pick with somebody.
A monologue from Grace, Sponsored by Monteverde by Vanessa Garcia
(Female, Comedic, 30s – 40s)
Catherine is an attractive, clever and adventurous journalist on the road with her colleague and lover, Lewis, across the country doing interviews out of a camper. They were having an intimate moment when he suddenly stopped. Catherine, alarmed, believes it’s his fear of intimacy but Lewis finally admits that because they’ve been outside sweating, it’s simply her smell that has ruined the mood. Catherine is livid at the hypocrisy of this lewd excuse, and storms out after reminding him that he isn’t so great-smelling or pleasant to be near, either. In this monologue, she says a comically exasperated and desperate plea to God for sanity and direction.
A monologue from Catholic School Girls by Casey Kurtti
(Female, Comedic, Juniors – Teens)
Elizabeth is a second grade student at St. George’s school. This monologue is played to the audience after Elizabeth has been scolded by her teacher, Sister Mary Lucille, for answering the question “Why did God make you?” with something other than what they were taught. Here, Elizabeth lays down the rules of Catholicism (distorted by the perspective of a child) to the ignorant masses, and hopes to warn them and possibly save them from going to Hell.
A monologue from Snapshots by Cynthia Mercarti
(Female, Dramatic, 20s – 30s)
Carol has a college education, a husband and a family. She also has a job at a fast food restaurant. In this monologue, she is trying to convince herself she’s a happy, perky person but as it turns out, she has a big problem with all kinds of people.
A monologue from Japanese Death Poem by DT Arcieri
(Male, Dramatic, 20s – 40s)
Jonathan is a dermatologist with a half-brother named Nathan. Nathan has come to his office with his usual aggravated disposition for advice, although Jonathan is positive that he should go to a therapist instead of a dermatologist. In this monologue, Jonathan expresses his concern for Nathan’s mental state and convinces him to seek help from a doctor who could actually help. His attempt at cheering him up is mildly enthusiastic.
A monologue from Saint Thea by DT Arcieri
(Male, Comedic, 50s)
Benjamin, 17, is speaking to his grandfather who he believes to be dead. He asks him questions that he wishes he could have asked earlier, like how many women has he been with? His grandfather, the speaker of this monologue who was only sleeping, wakes up to answer Ben’s next question which is, “What are you disappointed in?” This monologue is his long list of grievances about how the times have changed.
A monologue from Bullshit by Cullen Douglas
(Male, Dramatic, 20s – 50s)
Eric arrives at the office of Senator Bill Cummings. Bill is expecting this appointment, however he is unsure of how Andy let himself in the door. Eric then berates the Senator over his office’s inaction involving the abduction of Eric’s wife Nancy, who is a journalist for his office. Eric uses pathos and intimidation to yield urgency and answers from the Senator.
A monologue from Cross-Eyed by Cullen Douglas
(Male, Dramatic, 50s)
Jeb is visiting with his buddy Jake. He is nursing a drink, visibly troubled. Jake coaxes the shocking truth out of Jeb who explains he is going to jail for embezzlement of his own company, and that he’s decided to kill himself to help his wife. Jake reacts, vehemently opposed to Jeb’s decision, and tells his friend to take his punishment like a man.
A monologue from The Sunken Living Room by David Caudle
(Male, Dramatic, Teen – 20s)
Chip’s father recently paid for his girlfriend Tammy’s abortion, and in a phone call told his son that he should never be a father. Chip, high on cocaine and insulted by his father’s hypocrisy, has decided to run away after this phone call and has ransacked and destroyed the house looking for money. Wade, Chip’s younger brother, has hidden Chip’s car keys during this destructive episode because Chip is entirely unfit to drive and Chip reacts by choking him. At the last moment, he releases his grip on his brother and gives this cathartic monologue where he defends his right to be a father, and insists he would be a much better father than his own.
A monologue from Reunion Special by J. Michael DeAngelis
(Male, Dramatic, 20s – 40s)
Duncan, former child star, has not acted in five years and his most recent work went straight to DVD. He has hosted a memorial service for Dirk Howard, a former castmate of his childhood TV show in the nineties, and has invited his other former castmates in order to pitch a script he wrote for a Sunday Night Reunion Special of their show. He has pleaded for them to read the script, especially Eddie, now a true Hollywood star and Golden Globe Nominee, whose agreement would guarantee the special to happen. Eddie is offended that Duncan would use Dirk’s death for pitching his lame idea and is about to leave when Duncan pulls out a gun. This monologue is the peak of Duncan’s frustration and reveals how badly he needed this TV special.