Tired of being at the receiving end of endless piteous looks from actors? The next time your production’s star commends you on your “thankless” job, set them straight with these pros that definitively prove being a technician is the best. Real-life depictions from real-life technicians!

1. You always look as hot as you feel.

Do you look sweaty? It’s because YOU ARE. Scrambling for the props Roxie Hart lost in the deep, dark wings thirty seconds before her entrance is your daily cardio. But your hard work always pays off; by the end of Hell Week, you’ve lost two pounds, and your incredible new figure is accented in every cast photo, thanks to that all-black ensemble of yours. Hear that, Cosette? Technicians get hips! What do you get? A petticoat?

2. You hold the power.

Dorothy may have the audience by their heartstrings, but you have Dorothy by her pigtails. That’s right: anytime your favorite soprano gets dangerously close to diva status, you just brandish your Ben Nye foundation and remind her who holds the brushes in this relationship.

3. You have the best seat in the house.

When calling cues begins to feel like a serious drag, just remember — you get to watch the show! The whole show! After The Mistress finishes her scene, it’s back to the dressing room for her, but you get to witness Evita’s journey from humble radio persona to not-so-humble rainbow of Argentina every single night.  You can see the whole stage. You know the songs well enough to sing along (quietly). You didn’t even have to pay admission. What could be better?

4. You don’t have to primp (unless you want to).

Unless you’re giving a curtain speech, the only people that see you are part of the show. Why bother with fake lashes…. or concealer… or lip gloss? Let’s be real: with this spring’s period piece on your shoulders, you’re breaking out even without the grease paint. When you’re a techie, you have the clarity to understand the universe’s most elusive truth: anything beyond deodorant and lip balm is an indulgence. While Uncle Fester gets his face painted grey, you can kick back, slap on some moisturizer, and use the extra fifty minutes to go over your notes.

5. You gain a new family.

Buckle in, because the joys of being a tech can’t fully be realized until someone is in happy tears. Being a technician requires a completely different set of disciplines than those reserved for performers, and when you’re backstage, you have to trust the people you work alongside with your life—sometimes literally. The pressures of being behind the scenes, from the caution needed during hang-and-focus to the silent understanding your brothers in black must share with you, end up pushing your entire crew closer together than you ever imagined. There is nothing in the world like seeing a production come together as a result of your contributions and the cooperation of your incredible coworkers — except maybe the feeling of eating French fries in the green room. After all, you’re not the one in costume!